Learning how to BREATHE

My mom has cancer. And like any other cancer patient in the world, she despites chemotherapy. According to her "believe", chemotherapy is something devil has created to torture each cancer patient. So she activity seeks for other type of cancer treatment. And "Learning how to Breathe" is one of method she has found.

So I got shipped on a no-name mountain 7am in the morning. A Indian wanna be Taiwanese welcome us with a big warm open arm. She seems so happy, hug each of us like a long lost child that she finally found. My mind was thinking "You earn NT8000 (US 250)/each for three short days, if I were you I would kiss every one of us for these easy money"

There are 7 other old ladies also participating this Breathing program. Apparently a really famous old Taiwanese music artist (蔡琴) was one of her student. The Breathing prgram is pass one by this old Indian guy name....Sirus Sirus something. And I swear to god I am not lying, the long curcly hair, loose white drope, the medium long messy hair...without that dot in his middle of forehead, he is just the copycat of Jusus Christ.

The breathing course also combined with various types of stress-relieve steps, and discussion. So at the start, the indian wannabe lady asked each us to stand up, "Hug" each one of us and say "I know you can do it! I believe in you! and I belong to you". Just a reminder my whole family went; which include my dad, and my brother. And the rest of group members consist of 7 other old ladies who are over 50. If you think me hugging 7 other 50 years old ladies are funny, you should see my dad. He tried so hard to hug each of them lightly by saying "nice to meet you" with polite shiness. However these ladies are really into the program. Hug my dad tightly with their big forearm and passionately said "I belong--- to you. I know you can do it! I have faith in you!"

I was laughing my ass off.

So here's what I have learned with 250 dollars on how to breathe:
1) Everyone should breathe through your throat. SLOWLY, 1.2.3.4. and breathe out. 1.2.3.4. If you heard yourself made a snoring voice, then you have learned the essesence of breathing.
2) Try this. Each breathe you take, make it "UMM...." voice. According to Sirus Sirus, you will be able to find your inner piece after two hours.


Conclution: It was suppose to be 3 days prgroam but I ditched rest. My bro came back on the 2nd day and told me the Indian wannabe woman angrily told everyone that he no longer welcomes me and my dad.

Taiwanese version of Russian Dulls 山寨版的俄羅斯娃娃

I saw this on the news today, its just too funny. There's a scene spot in Taipei, Taiwan called Jiu-Fen (九份). There is this craft shop in the shopping street sells these "affordable" cute Taiwanese made Russian dulls. (NT180=6 dollars) Lets take a look at them.

First Doll:
Not Bad. It got its pretty eyes and glitter body. However this is where the scam starts. Why? Wait until you see the 2nd doll.

I think a 10 year old would be able to draw this out. Looks like its wearing a shower cap. You can still call it cute, but it should be free on the side of street instead of selling it for money. Lets see the third doll.

They don't bother spend any time on drawing the eyes no more. The shower cap is gone, it has white hair now. Apparently drawing two dots is good enough. This piece of shit looks like its being done by a 3 years old. But wait its not over...

This is just fucking ugly. It looks more like a ghost instead of a doll. And last but not least..

The last piece of shit...made my day. I could not stop laughing when I saw it on the news.

It's kind of embarrassing for Taiwanese craft shop to even produce these scam Taiwanese Russian dulls. Russian dulls are decoration. No matter how cheap they are, they need to be able to be displayed on a counter or shelf. Except for the 1st one (the one they really did spend good amount of times on so that the customer would think every dulls inside are also as nice), I don't think anyone would display the rest of the ugly dulls in their home. Maybe someone should teach them what "Russian dolls" mean. They are ALL suppose to be delicate, NOT JUST THE 1st ONE.

WAIT, The story is not over. So the news reporter actually went to the shop location and asked the owner about these inside ugly dulls.



"請問一下為什麼裡面的小俄羅斯娃娃們跟最大的外觀差距這麼多呢?"
(Can you please explain why the little Russian dulls craftsmanship is so different from the largest one?)



"恩其實我們賣的只是外面這個大的，裡面四個小的是贈送給客戶的。"
(Actually, the price that we are selling for is only for the largest dull. All the other dulls that are inside are consider as complimentary.)

How to have dinner conversation with grandpa's friendS 101

It's already hard enough for a normal person to make conversation with stranger who are 10 years older then us. But today I experienced just how much harder it is to to make dinner conversation (for 2 hours min) with grandpa's FRIENDS; fyi, I never met them in my life, and they are all over age of 70, and the worse part is they are all retire Taiwanese military high rank officers.

So basically, heres what I learned how to make that 2 hours pass faster:

1) Smile. When you walk into the room, BIG FAKE SMILE, they love kids' smile
2) There will be 2-3 of them say "oh remember me?" It doesn't matter if you really remember them, just continued smiling, and say "OH OF COURSE! HOW ARE YOU DOING LATELY? SO NICE TO MEET YOU AGAIN!" This shaking hand process will take up about 10 minutes.
3) After everyone is sat down, you get up. You are now the waiter in the room. Start puring everyone's tea, making sure everyone has their utensils...etc. That will take up about 20 minutes.
4) Start Gambaing (乾杯ing). Old people love it. Start wishing them longer health, always happy, forever look young and beautiful...anything you can think of. You should Gambaing about 10 -15 times. This process will take about 30 minutes.
5) When the dishes are served, constantly stuff them. (拼命的幫他們夾菜) Because they are old, eating takes up a long time. Ignore them if they continuously say they are full. Just keep on persuading by saying "This dish is superb. You gotta have it." This will take up about 50 mintues.
6) Last but not least, say goodbye. Didnt matter how boring the dinner is, you gotta say "I had a great time today, hope we can do this again!" And start shaking everyone's hand and give fake promise about house visit. This will be the last 10 mintues of the dinner.


Conclution: If possible, try not to have dinner with old people. Because after all the fake smile my chin hurts.

First "All Male Choir"

First "All Male Choir" experience in my life.
I did not spend money to experience this. I guess all male choir were never in trend in the musical market. And of course they have hard time selling tickets. So they came to my family's church; where everyone is lovely and nice IF you support our god in some way (for them, adding an Ave Maria in their course is good enough)

My dad bought NT13,000 worth of tickets (approximately 4o0 dollars), so thats how I went. Families and friends gave us a puzzle look when we are trying to give them those tickets. Because its like junk present; you can't throw them away, because they spend good money on it. And the worst part is that this junk present required you to actually go to a place and require your 2 hours of attention.

I have to say it entertained me for like 20 minutes ( and the Ave Maria song of course) I never knew choir require so much facial expression. Everyone on the stage seems like they are VERY into the music. Some are so exaggerated that they added hand gesture and some leg movement. Its cute, i guess.

Conclusion: Not my thing. I don't know if its too feminum (wtf would bunch of guys sing a song called "what's wrong with my feeling?"), or I just don't like stiff choir period. Overall I would not attened another all male choir again.

Blog warning!!

I felt the sudden urge to start my own online blog. So yea, TADA!

However look back at my past journal blog/entry I tried to accomplish, they never last because of my laziness or fade of interest. So I give this one a year. If this blog last longer then a year, congratulate me :D

IF you ever start to read my journal, PLEASE forgive me horrible English grammar. Even though I moved to America when I was 11 years old, English was never my favorite course. I never really bothered to spend energy or time on studying basic English grammar. So please feel free to use my journal as elementry school grammar material. ("please identify all the grammar mistake in this fob's journal". )