How to have dinner conversation with grandpa's friendS 101

It's already hard enough for a normal person to make conversation with stranger who are 10 years older then us. But today I experienced just how much harder it is to to make dinner conversation (for 2 hours min) with grandpa's FRIENDS; fyi, I never met them in my life, and they are all over age of 70, and the worse part is they are all retire Taiwanese military high rank officers.

So basically, heres what I learned how to make that 2 hours pass faster:

1) Smile. When you walk into the room, BIG FAKE SMILE, they love kids' smile
2) There will be 2-3 of them say "oh remember me?" It doesn't matter if you really remember them, just continued smiling, and say "OH OF COURSE! HOW ARE YOU DOING LATELY? SO NICE TO MEET YOU AGAIN!" This shaking hand process will take up about 10 minutes.
3) After everyone is sat down, you get up. You are now the waiter in the room. Start puring everyone's tea, making sure everyone has their utensils...etc. That will take up about 20 minutes.
4) Start Gambaing (乾杯ing). Old people love it. Start wishing them longer health, always happy, forever look young and beautiful...anything you can think of. You should Gambaing about 10 -15 times. This process will take about 30 minutes.
5) When the dishes are served, constantly stuff them. (拼命的幫他們夾菜) Because they are old, eating takes up a long time. Ignore them if they continuously say they are full. Just keep on persuading by saying "This dish is superb. You gotta have it." This will take up about 50 mintues.
6) Last but not least, say goodbye. Didnt matter how boring the dinner is, you gotta say "I had a great time today, hope we can do this again!" And start shaking everyone's hand and give fake promise about house visit. This will be the last 10 mintues of the dinner.


Conclution: If possible, try not to have dinner with old people. Because after all the fake smile my chin hurts.